First date Diaries- The ‘special one’

I love him. I probably always have…

First time I saw him was in class- we were in different departments but taking the same elective course. He never said a word to anybody but came to class alone, sat by himself, and left immediately after without socializing. I was drawn to him… like a moth to light and I spent most of our classes watching him rather than listening to the lecturer.

A short while later I was invited by a friend in another department to her final year dinner. That was the first time I saw him smile- he was chatting with a group of friends. I didn't even know he had a group of friends. His whole face lit up for a brief moment and I was speechless. I think that was the moment I realized that I was in love with the stranger from class. I found that my friend was his friend also and she formally introduced him to me. (Side note: later on he insisted that he asked her to but I think I did also… so not very sure).

We spent the night in the car park opposite my hostel. We sat on the bonnet of a car and talked all night about nothing and everything… well, almost everything. Best night ever. I eventually went to bed at 6 am and he left for home. He had to go get ready for school and he promised to call me immediately he got back.

He did not call. Not that day or the day after. I could not reach him and was so worried that I could not concentrate in school. On the 3^rd day, our ‘mutual friend’ called to tell me that he was ill and had been admitted into a hospital. I could not believe it- I mean he was very healthy when we stayed out all night and I wondered what happened. I rushed to the hospital and saw my baby lying in bed. That was when I found out that he has a chronic illness. Why didn’t he tell me? I wondered. If he had, there was no way, no freaking way I would have stayed out with him all night.

He was in hospital for three months, after which he had to leave school and I could not see him as often as I wanted to.

I want to be with him. Hold him when the pain starts, pray with him, make him feel better… but these days he avoids me. I sincerely do not know why and my friends think I am crazy for insisting he keeps in touch when it is so obvious that he does not want to have anything to do with me. I refuse to believe that. I think he smiles a lot when we are together. Oh he laughs too and I can't fully describe how that makes me feel. 

I love him. I probably always will…